Old School Fyxx Rap

Ian and I were strongly... encouraged... to perform at a comedy music night at The Fyxx hosted by Melanie Dahling, and so we wrote this one-off rap to perform

My name is Ian
And I’m rappin’ about
How this crazy b****
Got us all freaked out

I was sitting at home
Just minding my biz
Playing N.E.S.
He loves his old school vidz

Got a Facebook message
Saying there’s this show
Was it a music show?
No, a comedy show!

We said, “We ain’t comics
This idea is whack!
How can we perform
On a line-up this stacked?”


We got Andrew Lizotte
The Woody Allen non-Jew
The Brothers Greene
A family hip-hop crew

Of course there’s Timothy Gray
Yeah he’s my Oscars bud
You can call him T-Bhagg
He’s a white boy thug

There’s Mar-o-sti-ca
She’s so hot-sti-ca
You all be laughing at her jokes
Yeah there’s no stopping her

We got our boy Jon Wilson
With his funny songs
Jesse’s got the Thrashers
Rock you all night long

Don’t forget Ryan Ash
From the City of Champions
He’ll make you lose your sh**
Better take you an Ambien


We’re forgetting one person
Oh yeah, who could it be?
She made us do this show
It’s f*****’ Mel-a-nie!

What was she thinking?
Don’t know how to write jokes
I did comedy once...
But we’re both musical blokes

She was drunk (Vegas drunk!)
Getting up in our face
Telling us what to do
Putting us in our place

We really had no choice
She came at you with a knife!

She said she’d cut this pretty face
Man, we were scared for our lives


Now things got really bad
When she was haunting my dreams
It was my own
Nightmare on Elm Street
Starring Melanie Dahling...

She was freakin’ me out
She was makin’ me pout, she said
“You better do this show
Or I’ll be knocking you out!”

So here we are
We wrote this little ditty
From Ian Bawa

And your boy P. Litty

Make sure you all beware
Never to cross that chick

‘Cause she’ll f*** you up
If you don’t play at the Fyxx

Lyrics by Paul Little & Ian  •  Music by mrcharacters (2012)